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would like some feedback

petyrc

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struggling with the attached image and wondering if something is missing or maybe im over thinking it.

image title: fountain of youth
image objective: as i've gotten older, i've become more aware of my fading youth as well as how much our commercial culture values youth. i know with age comes wisdom and and its just part of live. so in the image im trying to portray the fountain of youth not being all that it's cracked up to be. it's rather pedestrian.

thoughts, comments? would love to get your feedback. thx

 

JillyG

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struggling with the attached image and wondering if something is missing or maybe im over thinking it.

image title: fountain of youth
image objective: as i've gotten older, i've become more aware of my fading youth as well as how much our commercial culture values youth. i know with age comes wisdom and and its just part of live. so in the image im trying to portray the fountain of youth not being all that it's cracked up to be. it's rather pedestrian.

thoughts, comments? would love to get your feedback. thx

It's a brilliant image, although I probably wouldn't have guessed what you were trying to say with it. For me, the problem is that the boy with umbrella looks like he's superimposed (I know he is, but ...) - I think it's his super sharp feet. Somehow it needs to be made to look like the boy was standing in the water cooler, so I would blur those feet a bit for a start and put on an overlay. Overlays in Mextures or Stackables might help. Where's BoBo Bobo when you need him?
 
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BoBo

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It's a brilliant image, although I probably wouldn't have guessed what you were trying to say with it. For me, the problem is that the boy with umbrella looks like he's superimposed (I know he is, but ...) - I think it's his super sharp feet. [...] Where's BoBo
Me, myself & I fully agree on your analysis :thumbs:
I'd add that often some minor details like the angle of the feet and (well less likely here, a missing/wrong shadow) makes me think "hum, something's wrong in here" ... :coffee:

But to create something like this seems to be a complex beast and I've to admit that my knowledge is quite limited on this. So, where's Bembel-Lady AKA Bembelina AKA GroovyGouvy when you need her ???? :D

* https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bembel :thumbs:

PS. are we entering now the unofficial "Edit this ..."-thread?
.
 
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RoseCat

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This is brilliant!! I agree with JillyG that I don't think I would have fully understood your message, but for me that's okay, the image is fabulous!

I also agree with all of Jilly's suggestions to blend the boy in a bit more with the background, and using an overall filter to sort of "finish off" the piece - I love VSCO for that sort of thing, it gives images a wonderful cinematic/film quality.
 

JillyG

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This is brilliant!! I agree with JillyG that I don't think I would have fully understood your message, but for me that's okay, the image is fabulous!

I also agree with all of Jilly's suggestions to blend the boy in a bit more with the background, and using an overall filter to sort of "finish off" the piece - I love VSCO for that sort of thing, it gives images a wonderful cinematic/film quality.
Brilliant. I knew you'd suggest some app that I haven't used. VSCO sounds like the sort of little tweak (because that's all this image needs) that will sort it out.:thumbs:
 

JillyG

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Me, myself & I fully agree on your analysis :thumbs:
I'd add that often some minor details like the angle of the feet and (well less likely here, a missing/wrong shadow) makes me think "hum, something's wrong in here" ... :coffee:

But to create something like this seems to be a complex beast and I've to admit that my knowledge is quite limited on this. So, where's Bembel-Lady AKA Bembelina AKA GroovyGoufy when you need her ???? :D

* https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bembel :thumbs:

PS. are we entering now the unofficial "Edit this ..."-thread?

View attachment 84131
.
Ahhh, there you are. Yes, you may be right, Gouvy might be our girl.

:lol: No, this is Critique Corner. We're not taking this image and doing it for Petyr, we're just making suggestions.
 

petyrc

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BoBo, JillyG, RoseCat, thank you very much for your feedback, i really appreciate it. i'm glad to hear you like the image, but as i thought, needs some work. i knew/know something is off/missing from the image and appreciate your suggestions. the boy does look superimposed. i tried a couple overlays but wasnt doing the trick. maybe a slight blur effect my do the trip or an mexture overlay to blend the superimposed image into the back ground. again really appreciate the feedback.
 

petyrc

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bobo thanks for the link to the green screen course!
 

JillyG

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BoBo, JillyG, RoseCat, thank you very much for your feedback, i really appreciate it. i'm glad to hear you like the image, but as i thought, needs some work. i knew/know something is off/missing from the image and appreciate your suggestions. the boy does look superimposed. i tried a couple overlays but wasnt doing the trick. maybe a slight blur effect my do the trip or an mexture overlay to blend the superimposed image into the back ground. again really appreciate the feedback.
You're very welcome. It honestly doesn't need much. Knock those feet back, overlay and you've got a winner!:thumbs:
 

terse

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BoBo, JillyG, RoseCat, thank you very much for your feedback, i really appreciate it. i'm glad to hear you like the image, but as i thought, needs some work. i knew/know something is off/missing from the image and appreciate your suggestions. the boy does look superimposed. i tried a couple overlays but wasnt doing the trick. maybe a slight blur effect my do the trip or an mexture overlay to blend the superimposed image into the back ground. again really appreciate the feedback.
A late suggestion: The boy is sharp, the water fountain soft. The boy is dark, the water fountain light. For me, that makes the boy jump out from the image too much. You could try lightening and softening just the image of the boy and umbrella to help it blend more readily. (For softening, you could push Snapseed's Structure slider into negative numbers, for example, and use the brush option to apply it just to the boy.)
 

petyrc

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hi all,

just wanted to lat everyone see what the finished image looks like. all of your feedback was extremely helpful. i decided i was working with two flawed images and that's the reason my original image was bugging me. i found what i believe was a better fountain image and i addressed the issue of the feet looking super imposed by removing them from the image. finally, i was looking for an effect that would mask some of the imperfection of the image and think the rain does that.

let me know what u think of the final image
 

BoBo

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TBH, I'd prefer the composition/concept of the first one. Here I've no idea how deep the pool is and why the boy is exactly standing/walking at that hight ( you see it's the physical aspect that irritates me)*. The rain is everywhere (eg being in front of the water dispenser) but hasn't made it to be somewhere in front of the boy. And finally I don't get why the (rest of the) spout appears behind the boy that way??

Thx 4 listening :)

* http://pixers.de/fototapeten/suppentopf-22017489

PS: Tadaa SLR is free today, go for it!
https://appsto.re/de/9PxmR.i

Where's the "Edit this ..."-thread when we need it o_O ?
 
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RoseCat

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hi all,

just wanted to lat everyone see what the finished image looks like. all of your feedback was extremely helpful. i decided i was working with two flawed images and that's the reason my original image was bugging me. i found what i believe was a better fountain image and i addressed the issue of the feet looking super imposed by removing them from the image. finally, i was looking for an effect that would mask some of the imperfection of the image and think the rain does that.

let me know what u think of the final image
Brilliant!! I love this so much.... I prefer the darker, charcoal and steel tones (the first image had a lot going on in the background, which I am noticing more now seeing this second version.) I also prefer the angle of the fountain here as the first version had most of the front cut off. I like that you don't see his feet...he feels more "immersed", trapped maybe. The rain is a nice effect and also adds some texture.

My only nit-picking teeny tiny suggestion would be to erase the flow of water behind the boy. I think there's more of an impact (no pun intended! :D ) if the water just hits the umbrella and ends there.

Fabulous image!! :inlove:
 

JillyG

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hi all,

just wanted to lat everyone see what the finished image looks like. all of your feedback was extremely helpful. i decided i was working with two flawed images and that's the reason my original image was bugging me. i found what i believe was a better fountain image and i addressed the issue of the feet looking super imposed by removing them from the image. finally, i was looking for an effect that would mask some of the imperfection of the image and think the rain does that.

let me know what u think of the final image
Yes, I agree with everything Catherine said - she's so articulate. Including the bid about the water flow behind the boy's back. :thumbs:
 

Kmenglee

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Like the first image
As JillyG said the image of boy is too sharp
Try to blend the boy with the whole image with tones It can be done in superimpose and add some shadow onto the boy background on the right of the boy Cos he has got light coming from the left
My thought
 

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Like David Hockney, you need a bigger splash. That torrent would hit the umbrella and spray up much harder. I'd find or shoot a better splash and that would be more realistic. First composition better. Man too buried in last one. And as others pointed out a tiny bit of blur on the man so he's not razor sharp compared to the water fountain. Or use a bigger file of the water fountain so it's just as sharp. You could try Snapseed as Terse said or Tadaa SLR very subtly mask out the man or rather the inverse of the man and apply a tiny bit of blur. I would go straight to procreate. Put the man on a separate layer. Gaussian blur till it's seamless. Maybe a touch of noise. Carefully match the shadow colour and paint in a shadow that agrees with main shot light source. Not solid colour but a 10-15% opacity and you can build it up with each brushstroke. If the light is falling on the guy from a very different direction it will never look right. Could always try flipping image. Rain to me just dilutes and confuses the issue. I don't know if the Fountain of Youth concept will come across. Find a typography app and stencil look or do an embossed or debossed look or a sign and write Youth on the base of the fountain maybe
 

Jasongag

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Also the guy is using his umbrella to stay out of the fountain of youth. So it's really saying 'Youth is wasted on the young' or 'grow old gracefully'. Hehe
 

petyrc

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BoBo, thanks again for your feedback. i hear what u are saying but, i really couldnt work with the first image. i tried a lot of what folks suggested and didnt like what i produced. regarding the water behind the kid, i left it there on purpose figuring water could easily hit an umbrella and this fall in back of him.
 

petyrc

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rosecat, thanks for feedback and glad to hear u like the second version. as i stated to BoBo, i left the water behind the boy on purpose. i might revisit the image and take the water out to see it looks. i put the rain in to give the image a little bit darker of a feel. i also like your thought about the boy possibly being trapped in the fountain. i never thought about that idea. its always so interesting to hear how others interpret images.
 

petyrc

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jasongag. really appreciate your constructive critique. you've definitely provided some food for thought. i might try blurring the fountain a little more. also like the idea of adding text to the fountain. finally regarding the fountain of youth concept, i guess i was trying to say the kid didnt want anything to do with the fountain of youth, hence the umbrella. i think in the end the image isnt the best vehicle for translating my idea.
 

RoseCat

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i think in the end the image isnt the best vehicle for translating my idea.
I think it's a wonderful image. Even if you feel it may not translate your exact idea, it's quite striking and I'm sure people looking at it will come up with lots of meanings and feelings.

There's also the argument about sometimes not titling an image to allow the viewer to decide what it means to him/herself.
 

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I think this is very good! There is a surprise element to it. It is well done, it comes out of the faucet smoothly like it belongs there. Yep, I would say you were overthinking it.

I would love to feature this at bpa_arts on Instagram. If you are over there send me a DM at kerrycmitchell and we'll get this featured.
 
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